I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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