Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
