She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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