Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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