Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize