Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
