I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
