Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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