Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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