I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
