I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
