Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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