It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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