Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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