the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
