You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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