I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
