your thong is hanging out like whoa
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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