Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
