margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
we should paint friendship bongs
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