Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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