this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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