On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
