hell yes lets make some ravioli
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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