dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
