I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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