At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize