So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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