Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize