Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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