I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
