I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
