soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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