She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
