I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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