Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
