i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize