just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"