Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems