Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.