i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Wow word travels fast.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions