remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick