I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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