There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
