two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
