New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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