the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
