do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
