I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We have started to decorate penises.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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