Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
