you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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