i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
