The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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