Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
