she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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