I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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