Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
