I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
