Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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