are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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