MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
