So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
