I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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