I CAN MOONWALK!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize