she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
