they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
